Peace, Be Still!

Hello friends! This week is the big week! Thursday I get to go to sleep and wake up 20lbs lighter. My kind of weightloss!

I have to say God seems to be giving me strength and courage as I seem to be more at peace this week than last. I am still scared and worried about some things but I know God is going to take care of everything! I am pretty sure I will be happy with the outcome but I just hope some of my gym friends won't be dissappointed. I think maybe they have seen too many makeover shows and are expecting me to be thin and I don't think that is ever going to be the case just thinner than I am now - it's all relative. I never thought I would be down to the size I am now so I will be happy with the outcome I think - especially my arms! I can't wait to see the muscle that I've been building up over the past year.

God has also been showing me ways to use this time as a new start and to work on some areas that I need to give to Him. Kinda like doing new years resolutions now and taking care of some internal house-keeping. A couple of people that I need to make things right with, few people I need to see, few things I need to do.

Hank is gonna take a picture on Wednesday and then another after the swelling has all gone down and I'll post them for all to see. I love you all! Kari

"Love much, forgive always, serve others, live for Christ!" Kari (October 2007)

10 Days & Counting

FEAR!

Perfect love casts out fear - I know this, I believe this and yet it bears it's ugly head! I really hope I'm doing the right thing for the right reasons. Soon we will all know. That may be what frighten's me the most - if it is a mistake it won't be easy to hide. This is right out there for everyone to see.

My faith is strong but my flesh is weak - can I muster the resolve to listen to God and ignore my flesh. The next few weeks will tell.

I am moving Tuesday to our new house. That will give us a week to settle in before the surgery. UGH! Plus we have to find a recliner from somewhere - we were gonna buy one but our miniature daschund is in the hospital with a spine injury and who knows how much that will cost us! This has happened before so we may have to put him to sleep this time - Hank just loves this dog so I hope not but we don't want him to suffer either.

I went to Church yesterday for the first time not in the role of an Officer - I went incognito - no uniform - it went OK, different but okay.

I better go for now! Blessings to all! Kari

3 weeks & counting

As my surgery draws closer my anxiety level is definately rising. I am trying to ignore all the what-if questions that seem to be swirling around in my mind. I know that perfect love casts out fear and His love is perfect - I just have to wrap my head and emotions around that right now. My faith seems to be weaker than I thought it was but it only has to be the size of a mustard seed and I KNOW He is with me and will not fail. It is not His ability I doubt but it is my ability. So much change has taken place in me physically and emotionally this year but it was facilitated by others and now this new journey seems to rest solely on me and I am not confident that I have what it takes to go it alone and yet those around me are telling me I need to go it alone so that I will take ownership of the change. Perhaps they are right - this really is the only area of my life I lack confidence in. I am secure in my relationship with my Lord, I am a good Salvation Army Officer, & a good Pastor - just not so sure I am able to remake myself in the areas that need some adjusting. The next few months are going to be a challenge and I hate the unknowingness of it all! I just have to believe I'm not making a mistake and I have to determine that I am going to do this for me and not to please anyone else. I'm going to do this for me because I'm worth it no matter what anyone else thinks.
Have a great week! My posts may be fewer because I don't have a computer anymore but I'll do my best!
Love, Kari

Farewell Sunday

Today is my farewell from the Rogers Salvation Army. After today I will not have any Officer duties for at least six months. I am relieved and yet apprehensive - this is all I've known for sooooooo long - 13 years. And even though it is only temporary I feel a bit guilty - like I've let someone down. I know that feeling is not coming from the Lord so I am choosing to see it as what it is - Satan trying to put condemnation on one of God's children.

I accomplished one of my goals yesterday - I ran in my first 5K run and yes, I ran the entire way!!!!=-D I was shocked - I thought I would have to walk at least part of the way but I didn't. I even was able to keep going up an incredibly long hill. It felt good to finish.

I plan to test for my personal training certification in March so now I will begin to work towards that now that I will have more time to myself. And, of course, my surgery is in less than a month! UGH!

God is good and He will see me through!

Love you ALL! Pray for me as pray for you! Kari