The Warrior

Well, it's Sunday afternoon...Church was especially hard this morning. A Church member hurt me deeply this week and it is always hard to have to stand and preach looking at someone who can be so cruel but I know that at some times we all can be cruel to one another.

A week ago this past Friday I tried the Warrior workout in my personal training session. It is very hard. I start out on the treadmill at 5 speed and five incline and run for 25 seconds then jump off and do 2 or 3 exercises usually something with dumbbells then back on the treadmill you stay at 5/5 for three runs then it goes up to 6 speed and 6 incline and do it for three rounds with things in between each run. Then it goes to 7 speed and 7 incline for three runs. 7 is very fast for me and really scares me - I always picture myself flying off the back of the treadmill. I can usually make the first run at 7/7 okay but then fatigue and fear set in and it gets harder. Now my trainer is standing just to my left and a little behind me - I can't see him but I can hear him and I know he's there and when I start to slow down too much he'll put his hand on my back and kind of push me forward while telling me to run faster. A week ago I was okay until I quit listening to him and started focusing on my fear and my tiredness and then I freaked out and grabbed on to the treadmill. I quit trusting him to make sure I didn't fall. While I was freaking out I realized that life is a lot like that run on the treadmill - we know God is there, sometimes we can hear him encouraging us and cheering us on and sometimes we even feel His hand upon us pushing us in the way we should go - the problem is when we start focusing on our problems and our fears we freak out and lose that trust and are likely to reach out and grab whatever is closest to us or whatever we think will hold us up. We have to remember to listen for His voice, to remember He's right there with us - He said He would NEVER leave us or forsake us - and we need to know that when we need it He will put His hand on us and push us towards the finish line.

After I thought about this a bit I decided I would ask my trainer if we could try the Warrior again and see if I could keep my focus and go all the way through it without grabbing the treadmill. So, this Friday we tried it again and I made it through - I still was really scared and tried to talk my way out of it but I did make it through without holding on at all. It made me feel like I had really accomplished something even though it wasn't a perfect run.

I know that the things in my life that seem so up in the air right now are also things I don't need to worry about - just Trust Him to be there with me - I don't have to believe in myself because He believes in me - I just have to TRUST Him.

I've been going to a therapist lately and we talk about the things I like to do - one being boxing. He tells me I should find a way to do it more than once a week and when I am boxing to think of all the things that are bugging me and just beat them away and then go write about how it felt. I might try it on Tuesday - I always get to box on Tuesday (have I told you all that my gloves and hand wraps are pink?). I told my therapist that if I believed in reincarnation I'd like to come back as a boxer. I wonder if there will be boxing in heaven? I'm sure there will be baseball so boxing should be there too! ;-D LOL!

Have a great week my friends - remember He's right there with you and you can Trust Him to keep you from falling. Love, Kari