.... I heard today that I got the loan to pay for my surgery since insurance won't do it. At first I was extremely happy but then I got a little - well, a whole lot - scared about it. Now that the surgery is in my grasp all these doubts pop up. I know that God will take care of me - he wouldn't have brought me this far to not finish the process.
Pray for me - that HE would calm my fears and work out all the other details and help me get the surgery scheduled at the right time.
I hope everyone is having a good week - mine has been so far, good friends came to visit, a couple of good workouts, my back feels better and now the loan came through.
Blessings to all! Kari
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Warrior
Well, it's Sunday afternoon...Church was especially hard this morning. A Church member hurt me deeply this week and it is always hard to have to stand and preach looking at someone who can be so cruel but I know that at some times we all can be cruel to one another.
A week ago this past Friday I tried the Warrior workout in my personal training session. It is very hard. I start out on the treadmill at 5 speed and five incline and run for 25 seconds then jump off and do 2 or 3 exercises usually something with dumbbells then back on the treadmill you stay at 5/5 for three runs then it goes up to 6 speed and 6 incline and do it for three rounds with things in between each run. Then it goes to 7 speed and 7 incline for three runs. 7 is very fast for me and really scares me - I always picture myself flying off the back of the treadmill. I can usually make the first run at 7/7 okay but then fatigue and fear set in and it gets harder. Now my trainer is standing just to my left and a little behind me - I can't see him but I can hear him and I know he's there and when I start to slow down too much he'll put his hand on my back and kind of push me forward while telling me to run faster. A week ago I was okay until I quit listening to him and started focusing on my fear and my tiredness and then I freaked out and grabbed on to the treadmill. I quit trusting him to make sure I didn't fall. While I was freaking out I realized that life is a lot like that run on the treadmill - we know God is there, sometimes we can hear him encouraging us and cheering us on and sometimes we even feel His hand upon us pushing us in the way we should go - the problem is when we start focusing on our problems and our fears we freak out and lose that trust and are likely to reach out and grab whatever is closest to us or whatever we think will hold us up. We have to remember to listen for His voice, to remember He's right there with us - He said He would NEVER leave us or forsake us - and we need to know that when we need it He will put His hand on us and push us towards the finish line.
After I thought about this a bit I decided I would ask my trainer if we could try the Warrior again and see if I could keep my focus and go all the way through it without grabbing the treadmill. So, this Friday we tried it again and I made it through - I still was really scared and tried to talk my way out of it but I did make it through without holding on at all. It made me feel like I had really accomplished something even though it wasn't a perfect run.
I know that the things in my life that seem so up in the air right now are also things I don't need to worry about - just Trust Him to be there with me - I don't have to believe in myself because He believes in me - I just have to TRUST Him.
I've been going to a therapist lately and we talk about the things I like to do - one being boxing. He tells me I should find a way to do it more than once a week and when I am boxing to think of all the things that are bugging me and just beat them away and then go write about how it felt. I might try it on Tuesday - I always get to box on Tuesday (have I told you all that my gloves and hand wraps are pink?). I told my therapist that if I believed in reincarnation I'd like to come back as a boxer. I wonder if there will be boxing in heaven? I'm sure there will be baseball so boxing should be there too! ;-D LOL!
Have a great week my friends - remember He's right there with you and you can Trust Him to keep you from falling. Love, Kari
A week ago this past Friday I tried the Warrior workout in my personal training session. It is very hard. I start out on the treadmill at 5 speed and five incline and run for 25 seconds then jump off and do 2 or 3 exercises usually something with dumbbells then back on the treadmill you stay at 5/5 for three runs then it goes up to 6 speed and 6 incline and do it for three rounds with things in between each run. Then it goes to 7 speed and 7 incline for three runs. 7 is very fast for me and really scares me - I always picture myself flying off the back of the treadmill. I can usually make the first run at 7/7 okay but then fatigue and fear set in and it gets harder. Now my trainer is standing just to my left and a little behind me - I can't see him but I can hear him and I know he's there and when I start to slow down too much he'll put his hand on my back and kind of push me forward while telling me to run faster. A week ago I was okay until I quit listening to him and started focusing on my fear and my tiredness and then I freaked out and grabbed on to the treadmill. I quit trusting him to make sure I didn't fall. While I was freaking out I realized that life is a lot like that run on the treadmill - we know God is there, sometimes we can hear him encouraging us and cheering us on and sometimes we even feel His hand upon us pushing us in the way we should go - the problem is when we start focusing on our problems and our fears we freak out and lose that trust and are likely to reach out and grab whatever is closest to us or whatever we think will hold us up. We have to remember to listen for His voice, to remember He's right there with us - He said He would NEVER leave us or forsake us - and we need to know that when we need it He will put His hand on us and push us towards the finish line.
After I thought about this a bit I decided I would ask my trainer if we could try the Warrior again and see if I could keep my focus and go all the way through it without grabbing the treadmill. So, this Friday we tried it again and I made it through - I still was really scared and tried to talk my way out of it but I did make it through without holding on at all. It made me feel like I had really accomplished something even though it wasn't a perfect run.
I know that the things in my life that seem so up in the air right now are also things I don't need to worry about - just Trust Him to be there with me - I don't have to believe in myself because He believes in me - I just have to TRUST Him.
I've been going to a therapist lately and we talk about the things I like to do - one being boxing. He tells me I should find a way to do it more than once a week and when I am boxing to think of all the things that are bugging me and just beat them away and then go write about how it felt. I might try it on Tuesday - I always get to box on Tuesday (have I told you all that my gloves and hand wraps are pink?). I told my therapist that if I believed in reincarnation I'd like to come back as a boxer. I wonder if there will be boxing in heaven? I'm sure there will be baseball so boxing should be there too! ;-D LOL!
Have a great week my friends - remember He's right there with you and you can Trust Him to keep you from falling. Love, Kari
Sunday, August 19, 2007
It's Funny....
Good Sunday Morning! Today finds me refreshed after a fun day of visiting and shopping in OKC. Bought school clothes for Lorenzo & LaQuetta and 3 boxing t-shirts and a boxing jacket - really cool. Mostly though just clothes for the kids. We ate lunch with great friends in OKC at Louie's, a restaurant on Lake Hefner - great food.
Here is today's sermon title: "It's Funny"
Romans 7:14-8:4 (New Living Translation)
Struggling with Sin
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power[b] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 8
Life in the Spirit
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[c] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[d] from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.[e] So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.
Do you struggle with sin? Do you seem to always get stuck in the same rut doing the same things you don't want to do? Do you fail to do the things you want to do? You are NOT alone! This is the classic struggle that we all face. Paul faced it, I face it, everyone who has ever lived or will live that is a follower of Christ has faced it. The classic struggle between our human nature and the Spirit of God working in us.
Have you ever wondered why this is so hard for us? Why we just can't seem to obey Him even though we want to. Sometimes I even wish that God would just smack me over the head and make me obey Him but that is not how God works. He does though sometimes use some interesting things and circumstances to get our attention. Lets look at a few passages in scripture that show God's unique way of getting peoples attention.
It's funny how a big ol' fish can hear Your voice and find one man in the whole ocean and swallow him whole - because You said so. Jonah 1:17
It's funny how a little plant can hear Your voice and grow as big as a tent to give that man a home because You said so. Jonah 4:6
It's funny how the bright ol' sun can hear Your voice along its way and stop in the middle of the sky for an entire day because You said so. Joshua 10:13
It's funny how a donkey can hear Your voice and talk instead of bray to set Your child on his way because You said so. Numbers 22:28-31
And You speak to me all the time and I can't obey You to save my life.
Well, I can but I don't, and I want to but I won't.
I do what I don't mean to and I'm confused.
It's funny how a fish can obey You but I can't.
It's funny how a plant can obey You but I can't.
It's funny how the sun can obey You but I can't.
It's funny how a donkey can obey You but I can't.
He speaks to you and I all the time - we hear His voice - most of us, most of the time, want to obey Him and yet we let things and opportunities slip by without our taking action. We just don't do what we want to do. At times He speaks to us in warning - telling us not to do something, not to say something, not to go somewhere - we want to obey Him but we give in to temptation and do the very thing we don't want to do.
Are we doomed then. Is there not hope for us? Can nothing be done to help us? "Thank God! The answer is in Christ Jesus our Lord. In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. But, there is therefore no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin." Jesus paid the penalty for all my failures, all my downfalls, all my missed opportunities.
Yet we now have an obligation to fight that sinful nature with His help. Romans 8:12 says, "So, dear brothers and sister, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do." FIGHT IT!
I bought a t-shirt yesterday that says "When things get tough...fight another round." You and I know that we have been given the victory through Christ Jesus therefore we must continue to stand and fight! Yes, we may fail at times but as we mature in Christ and learn to fight sin and temptation with His strength then we will begin to see a change in us. We will see that we are doing the things we want to do and aren't doing the things we don't because His strength gives us the ability to do what He wants us to do.
Stand and fight another round!
May you all be blessed this day and throughout the week. May you see His hand upon you each day, my you cling to that hand and find strength for your journey.
My love to you all, Kari
Here is today's sermon title: "It's Funny"
Romans 7:14-8:4 (New Living Translation)
Struggling with Sin
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power[b] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 8
Life in the Spirit
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[c] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[d] from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.[e] So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.
Do you struggle with sin? Do you seem to always get stuck in the same rut doing the same things you don't want to do? Do you fail to do the things you want to do? You are NOT alone! This is the classic struggle that we all face. Paul faced it, I face it, everyone who has ever lived or will live that is a follower of Christ has faced it. The classic struggle between our human nature and the Spirit of God working in us.
Have you ever wondered why this is so hard for us? Why we just can't seem to obey Him even though we want to. Sometimes I even wish that God would just smack me over the head and make me obey Him but that is not how God works. He does though sometimes use some interesting things and circumstances to get our attention. Lets look at a few passages in scripture that show God's unique way of getting peoples attention.
It's funny how a big ol' fish can hear Your voice and find one man in the whole ocean and swallow him whole - because You said so. Jonah 1:17
It's funny how a little plant can hear Your voice and grow as big as a tent to give that man a home because You said so. Jonah 4:6
It's funny how the bright ol' sun can hear Your voice along its way and stop in the middle of the sky for an entire day because You said so. Joshua 10:13
It's funny how a donkey can hear Your voice and talk instead of bray to set Your child on his way because You said so. Numbers 22:28-31
And You speak to me all the time and I can't obey You to save my life.
Well, I can but I don't, and I want to but I won't.
I do what I don't mean to and I'm confused.
It's funny how a fish can obey You but I can't.
It's funny how a plant can obey You but I can't.
It's funny how the sun can obey You but I can't.
It's funny how a donkey can obey You but I can't.
He speaks to you and I all the time - we hear His voice - most of us, most of the time, want to obey Him and yet we let things and opportunities slip by without our taking action. We just don't do what we want to do. At times He speaks to us in warning - telling us not to do something, not to say something, not to go somewhere - we want to obey Him but we give in to temptation and do the very thing we don't want to do.
Are we doomed then. Is there not hope for us? Can nothing be done to help us? "Thank God! The answer is in Christ Jesus our Lord. In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. But, there is therefore no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin." Jesus paid the penalty for all my failures, all my downfalls, all my missed opportunities.
Yet we now have an obligation to fight that sinful nature with His help. Romans 8:12 says, "So, dear brothers and sister, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do." FIGHT IT!
I bought a t-shirt yesterday that says "When things get tough...fight another round." You and I know that we have been given the victory through Christ Jesus therefore we must continue to stand and fight! Yes, we may fail at times but as we mature in Christ and learn to fight sin and temptation with His strength then we will begin to see a change in us. We will see that we are doing the things we want to do and aren't doing the things we don't because His strength gives us the ability to do what He wants us to do.
Stand and fight another round!
May you all be blessed this day and throughout the week. May you see His hand upon you each day, my you cling to that hand and find strength for your journey.
My love to you all, Kari
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Long week!
Hello Friends! It's Sunday morning and for a change I don't have to preach! Major Watts the Area Commander is coming for his monthly visit and is going to speak for me - hallelujah! I need the break.
This week has been a trying one...
..went to see a Christian counselor in Tulsa seems to be nice but it was stressfull all the same.
...found out I somehow messed my back up and have a herniated disk in my lower back. My trainer wants to do some rehab type exercises twice a week to strengthen my back muscles but these are boring so even though I'm sure he's right I'm not thrilled - I'd rather really get good hard exhausting workouts!
...thought insurance might pay for the skin removal but found out I have to wait for it to get infected and create ulcers before they will do anything - I saved the Army so much money doing it this way and it seems I'm going to save them even more.=-/ So, my dad is trying to figure out if there is anyone he can borrow the money from so I can get it scheduled - they want half up front before they will even schedule the surgery - I'd like to get it done in October. It is really beginning to bother me in my workouts - there is just so much in my way. I can do a sit up now if someone holds my feet but it's not easy.
...then it's been beastly hot and I have to wear long or 3/4 sleeves all the time because my arms look awful.
...I'm not going to get to go to Bible Conference because the Corps has no money. Now I'll have to wait five more years before the Army will pay for it again. POOP!
But God is good and has been with me as well. Helping me over the bumps and sending people my way to encourage me. I was also able to get the prerequsit waiver at the community college so that I could take Anatomy and Physiology I to help me with my certification process. Classes start the 20th - fun to be going back to school even if I am taking 6 hours of SCIENCE and I always hated science before. It will be better now because I see the purpose in it. I'm excited about the fall and what God is going to do for and through me! He IS in control.
PRAYER REQUESTS:
1)Approval is quick from THQ regarding my plans for the next few months.
2)We are able to find someone to loan us the money for the Surgery so I have plenty of rehab time before June moves.
3)I will find something to kick-start my losing weight again. I seem to have plateaued.
4)That God will help me to let peoples unpleasant words and actions just roll off my back and not take everything so personally.
5)That the Christian Counselor will be able to help me in this rebuilding process.
Thanks everyone! I appreciate you and love you all! Kari
This week has been a trying one...
..went to see a Christian counselor in Tulsa seems to be nice but it was stressfull all the same.
...found out I somehow messed my back up and have a herniated disk in my lower back. My trainer wants to do some rehab type exercises twice a week to strengthen my back muscles but these are boring so even though I'm sure he's right I'm not thrilled - I'd rather really get good hard exhausting workouts!
...thought insurance might pay for the skin removal but found out I have to wait for it to get infected and create ulcers before they will do anything - I saved the Army so much money doing it this way and it seems I'm going to save them even more.=-/ So, my dad is trying to figure out if there is anyone he can borrow the money from so I can get it scheduled - they want half up front before they will even schedule the surgery - I'd like to get it done in October. It is really beginning to bother me in my workouts - there is just so much in my way. I can do a sit up now if someone holds my feet but it's not easy.
...then it's been beastly hot and I have to wear long or 3/4 sleeves all the time because my arms look awful.
...I'm not going to get to go to Bible Conference because the Corps has no money. Now I'll have to wait five more years before the Army will pay for it again. POOP!
But God is good and has been with me as well. Helping me over the bumps and sending people my way to encourage me. I was also able to get the prerequsit waiver at the community college so that I could take Anatomy and Physiology I to help me with my certification process. Classes start the 20th - fun to be going back to school even if I am taking 6 hours of SCIENCE and I always hated science before. It will be better now because I see the purpose in it. I'm excited about the fall and what God is going to do for and through me! He IS in control.
PRAYER REQUESTS:
1)Approval is quick from THQ regarding my plans for the next few months.
2)We are able to find someone to loan us the money for the Surgery so I have plenty of rehab time before June moves.
3)I will find something to kick-start my losing weight again. I seem to have plateaued.
4)That God will help me to let peoples unpleasant words and actions just roll off my back and not take everything so personally.
5)That the Christian Counselor will be able to help me in this rebuilding process.
Thanks everyone! I appreciate you and love you all! Kari
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Better Questions
Good morning friends! It is one day before my 44th birthday - so much has changed in the last year! I am a different person both inside and out; smaller in size but with much more confidence in my physical abilities, wiser yet so unsure, victorious but not independent, assured of my salvation and God's love but with so many new questions.
As I mentioned I bought a new CD by Todd Agnew called "Better Questions" and I think that for the next few weeks my sermons will most likely come out of God speaking to me from these songs. If you will indulge me I will share part of todays sermon with you.
"I've got better questions than I have answers, better dreams than I have plans. I've got better thoughts than I have actions so I built my house on what I thought was solid ground but now I know it could be sand." - Todd Agnew
You and I are full of questions, dreams and thoughts but where do they lead us? Do we have all the answers? Will we ever have all the answers? What are your dreams today? What are you doing about them? What are you thinking? What actions should you be taking today?
What is our purpose? Why were we put here? Why do we endure the things we do? What does God expect of you? What is the meaning of life? We find this summed up at the end of Christ's life as He prayed for us in John 17:1-26. Ultimately the meaning of life is summed up in verse 3 - "this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." All the rest is just fluff, filler whatever is necessary to get us to that point of "KNOWING HIM" - not just knowing about Him but actually, intimately "KNOWING HIM" in all His fullness. Knowing how much He loves you. Knowing how much He believes in you. Knowing what He desires for you and your life.
As we learn to Know Him we then must begin Trusting HIM! Trust Him for your physical needs, for your emotional needs, for your spiritual needs. Trust Him. For in knowing Him we learn He has your best interest at heart and you can trust Him for he says to you in Jeremial 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a future and a hope." He wants what is best for you.
What is best though is not always the easiest and that is where it gets hard for you and I. We have to trust Him even in the hard times when life isn't exactly easy or fair. We have to endure what life throws or way knowing that God will use it to change us into the image of His son. James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."
The meaning of life: Know Him, Trust Him, Endure til the end. He loves you so much!
There's an old chorus that sums it up best:
"Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by,
Trusting Him what'ere befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all."
Be assured of His love and of mine. Kari
As I mentioned I bought a new CD by Todd Agnew called "Better Questions" and I think that for the next few weeks my sermons will most likely come out of God speaking to me from these songs. If you will indulge me I will share part of todays sermon with you.
"I've got better questions than I have answers, better dreams than I have plans. I've got better thoughts than I have actions so I built my house on what I thought was solid ground but now I know it could be sand." - Todd Agnew
You and I are full of questions, dreams and thoughts but where do they lead us? Do we have all the answers? Will we ever have all the answers? What are your dreams today? What are you doing about them? What are you thinking? What actions should you be taking today?
What is our purpose? Why were we put here? Why do we endure the things we do? What does God expect of you? What is the meaning of life? We find this summed up at the end of Christ's life as He prayed for us in John 17:1-26. Ultimately the meaning of life is summed up in verse 3 - "this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." All the rest is just fluff, filler whatever is necessary to get us to that point of "KNOWING HIM" - not just knowing about Him but actually, intimately "KNOWING HIM" in all His fullness. Knowing how much He loves you. Knowing how much He believes in you. Knowing what He desires for you and your life.
As we learn to Know Him we then must begin Trusting HIM! Trust Him for your physical needs, for your emotional needs, for your spiritual needs. Trust Him. For in knowing Him we learn He has your best interest at heart and you can trust Him for he says to you in Jeremial 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a future and a hope." He wants what is best for you.
What is best though is not always the easiest and that is where it gets hard for you and I. We have to trust Him even in the hard times when life isn't exactly easy or fair. We have to endure what life throws or way knowing that God will use it to change us into the image of His son. James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."
The meaning of life: Know Him, Trust Him, Endure til the end. He loves you so much!
There's an old chorus that sums it up best:
"Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by,
Trusting Him what'ere befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all."
Be assured of His love and of mine. Kari
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